In my last blog post, I claimed to be Catholic. Well, I had to do some thinking about that, as a result of writing it. Especially since I haven’t gone to Mass but maybe three or four times in the past 40 years of my life.
Well, I’m not sure how much of one I am. If it’s possible to be partially Catholic, I guess I am that. I see myself as Catholic Plus. As in, Catholic plus Rationalism, plus Stoicism, plus Skeptic, plus Taoist, all of which I don’t believe have too many contradictions with each other to maintain. As many contradictions as most humans carry, I estimate.
I was raised Catholic and I still pray as one. Especially the “Hail Mary” which I feel (“believe” may be too a strong word, but as far as a skeptic can believe, I do believe), that this prayer has helped me through at least one especially difficult time, once especially when recovering from a sickness from which I have since recovered.
I also feel that, growing up Catholic, that the other people in my family were good people, partially because of how Catholicism made them good. Do good. To treat others as you wish to be treated. The golden rule is the most important lesson. Second, the people I knew growing up were quick to forgive, as long as an offense was not intended or the offender was remorseful, and seeking forgiveness. I still identify with these people.
But I think, after my prayer, the main reason I believe that I am a Catholic is that I don’t believe civilization would work without some system like Christianity, or for that matter, Buddhism. I know that critics will point out all the flaws in practice, that many wars have been started in the name of Christianity (and Buddhism, too), but I don’t think that this means that the systems are entirely failed. Both systems came about as civilizations were growing larger and more interconnected. In my opinion, aside from whatever mystical or spiritual causes, both came out of a demand for humans from different tribes and nations to have a way to live with each other. And both, when practiced well by their believers, do promote an order to society and a reduction in violence.
I harbor a deep distrust of positions of authority in religion. Too many popes, bishops, priests have engaged in action which contradicts the teachings of their faith. This is probably why I don’t attend Mass. I also have a hard time believing in some of the dogma like the virgin birth and resurrection, which were common myths in many Near Eastern faiths (Assyria, Babylon, Egypt).
To me, the essence of what this guy we call Jesus came to preach is that we should not act as if we belong to a tribe, but instead, to humanity. God has charitable love, “agape”, towards us. As such, we should show “agape”, charitable love, towards each other. My feeling of Christianity is that it becomes lost when focus is placed on other dogma. I disagree with those who say that we are saved only by believing. This seems like an absurd claim, that you can do any sort of evil, but if you only so as believe, you’ll spare yourself eternal damnation. It seems also to circumvent Jesus’ most important teaching.
So, am I a Catholic? A Christian? I am both, I claim, because I agree with what Jesus said, and I try to live my life according to His order. And I pray. Oh, I do. I pray and pray.
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